Hi. My name is Ann and I'm a stress-aholic......

I have a problem with stress. I stress about stress. I can stress about anything - Nothing to stress about? No problem. I can invent find something. I have extremely patient and supportive friends that laugh at my stress, talk me off a ledge, and help me see how ridiculous I can be. Thanks guys!

Most recently I have seen first hand how stress has been affecting my weight.

I've been told a million times:

Also - STOP looking at what your role models/ "I want to look like her" are eating, doing, posting..... Why? You ARE NOT them. They are pros. I am NOT. I do not need to eat 6 meals of 1 million grams of protein. I did not workout 5 times today. They have no idea what's going on with Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives, Candidly Nicole, Tori and Dean.....I do. I really, really do. 

I have stressed about my weight. Spent hours looking up how _______ eats. I weighed myself daily. I have researched. I have spent money on - well, you name it. I have done online nutrition coaching. I have been to an actual sports nutritionist. Just writing about all this makes me sweat. What does all this equal? Stress. Then I'm upset, crying, emotional, hangry........no one likes it. Then I want to quit and eat the cookie dough tube.

I don't know what changed. I don't know what clicked.....maybe just the stars aligned.....but this last month has been my best, least stressed food/weight/workout month EVER. That's right folks, EVER! Stress levels are DOWN. If they go up they come back to earth MUCH faster. I'm done stressing about my stupid weight!

I am eating when I'm hungry (duh). I'm eating protein. I'm eating green veggies - LOTS. I'm drinking water - All. Day. Long. I've lost 7.6 pounds this month. What!?!?! No stress. I've had fun food days.... Let me tell you about this snowball I had in Baltimore. That's right, upgraded with the marshmellow fluff. Who am I? I've had some wine, some cocktails. Instead of freaking out and wondering "What am I doing wrong?", "What am I going to weight tomorrow?" - I have decided to not think about it. One meal did not get me chubby. It was years of neglect.

Now I'm waking up with a smile. It's so nice. Just ask my husband.

Stress. Get rid of it. Smile. Live life. Have fun. 

I do still like to check on what the greats are doing......like Lauren:

The difference now is that when I watch it I'm in awe. I'm not taking notes, I'm not thinking how I can incorporate their life into mine.......These are pros. They are not me. They do not have my life. 

Lift Heavy Shit

I did not grow up in the weight room. If I went to the gym is was for the dreadmill treadmill, the bike, or those fancy Nautilus machines. For high school sports we didn't even enter the weight room - that was for the dudes - football players mostly. It smelled in there. It was scary..... I mean, it's just a lot of yelling and high fives......right?

Then college came around. The lacrosse team was scheduled to be in the weight room two mornings a week. I kinda just went through the motions, talked, walked around, talked some more.....you get the idea. 

When I joined the gym as an adult I LIVED on the treadmill. I trained for 1/2 marathons that way - it could get boring, but there was built in child care and no weather excuses for not getting that run in.

Then came Crossfit. I wasn't really in the know about exactly what it was - I had watched The Games on TV, but that does not show you what all those women do on a daily basis to get there. I didn't know any terminology, I didn't know how to actually do any of the lifts. I did giggle at all the names - Snatch, Jerk, Box, WOD.......I'm immature. I got my ass handed to me. I still do. The technical part of weight lifting, gymnastics, and other movements are what keeps me coming back everyday. I want to do better, I want to lift heavier, I want to go faster. 

Why?

I see the change. I feel the change. Lifting weights (heavy as I can) is something I really like. Who would have thought!?!?!?! I am not going to lie - I love that I can lift the same or more than some of the guys at the Box. I'm not sure how it makes them feel (but I do work hard to be able to lift more). Lifting weights has also helped in my day to day life. I am happier, less stressed out, my once daily migraines have gone away, I'm eating better because I see how it affects my workouts.........and I'm inspiring my kids. That's the best part.......They think I'm the strongest mom around. I'll take that title any day.

I don't typically put my videos on Facebook - They are up on Instagram (@alhardman) and on my YouTube page. I don't like to just put them out there all willy nilly. I work really really hard.....but I do it for me, not anyone else. So, grab your popcorn and get ready to watch some of my "workin hard" videos.

Now go and lift some heavy shit!

Cloudy, 73*, and summer coming to an end.....

This is my last week of summer. Super bummed about it - tan is going to fade, less time to play, sun, swim, and be breezy. I do look forward to hanging with my friends at work again though - always a good time. I have this week off of my extra programming from Coach Bijan (info@knighteliteperformance) - just doing mobility and WODs at CFA.

Today is cloudy. Not summer-hot. I did not sleep well last night. Perfect day for some mental toughness/confidence building activities. In college we did an exercise where you write your name on the center of a piece of paper, then you pass it around the circle. Each person writes a word or phrase about you (positive - duh). By the time it gets back to you there are 20+ awesome statements about you. Wonderful, glorious you. Don't worry - still have one of mine to share with you....your welcome.

circa 2004

My college lacrosse coach was the bomb.com. No way I'd be the athlete and person I am today without her. She was tough, caring, and the mom we all needed being away at school. Love that woman!

So Sam and I did this activity this morning. For me it's hard to write positive things about myself. I feel silly, or conceded......I am much better at building up others. That's my passion - making others feel great. BUT - I need to be able to do that for myself too. Right? So here's Sam's positives:

Positives that I wrote about Sam

What Sam wrote about himself - Beard???

Sam is very confident and mentally tough. He had no problem writing about his positives - which is what makes him such a great friend, coach, and husband. Here are mine:

What Sam wrote about me

What I wrote about myself

I cannot lie. I cried when I read what Sam wrote about me. Real tears. I am confident in some ways, but don't always see in me what my friends and husband do. Good thing I'm working on it, huh?!? When writing about myself I thought I would die. I hated writing "smart, funny, friendly" - just felt silly. I did feel better seeing that Sam wrote the same things about me. Baby steps.

Now, the gloomy, cloudy, end of summer day is going to go much better! How can you not smile and have a spring in your step when you have just read a list of positive things about yourself?

Think positive. Break a sweat. Smile big. Love the day!

19 months, 82 weeks, 578 days

My first day of Crossfit was Dec 9, 2012 at Crossfit Annandale. I was nervous, but Sam was with me and we were going to suffer together. My first WOD? Glad you asked:

5 rounds: 7 thrusters and 7 burpees. Took me 7 minutes.

That sounds horrible, even now. Thrusters and burpees are hell - so my first workout was killer and I still came back for more.

literally day 1

The epic picture of day 1. Workout had not started yet. We were being silly, meeting the owner of CFA, and hoping that we would not die. Look at us - a bunch of rookies. Running shoes, cotton shirts, big ol shorts....hahahaahhaha. No Crossfit gear yet ;)  So glad I'm growing my hair out now - man that was short!

Of course I took pictures, measurements, the whole deal. I was doing Crossfit to get in shape and loose weight. I didn't even know about the strong part....yet......the BEST part! I started with some serious inches everywhere (hips 44.6, waist 37.1.....). Thankfully everything has gone WAY down. My BMI stated at 33.2. I know. EEK! A few months ago it was checked again and I was down to 25.9! Progress Progress Progress. Thank you to CFA for taking measurements and having a cool machine that does BMI - it's never fun hearing all those high numbers at first, but you gotta start somewhere.

So we started Crossfit three days a week. The first week was rough, so hard to move. Everything hurt. Places hurt that had never hurt before. For whatever reason I NEEDED to keep going. I was hooked. Right from the beginning. I do have an athletic background - played sports my whole life - and I think that helped....sorta.....kinda....wishful thinking?

Field Hockey at Longwood

Lacrosse at Longwood

Then I did running and triathlons:

Burke Lake with my girls

Wine Country 1/2  marathon

Marine Corp Marathon

Reston Tri

I got to a point with running and tri's that I wasn't as motivated to train. I wasn't very fast and was getting frustrated with that. I needed something else. Crossfit fit the bill! So starting at three days a week I was very happy. I scaled EVERYTHING and loved it. As I started getting stronger, learning lifts, and becoming more confident I was able to do more and more. Which, really just means more soreness. I also made great friends at CFA - which helps keep you accountable and coming back. Who doesn't love to die workout with friends?

Then my first competition. It was last minute, I was helping out a friend with an injured partner. I was SUPER nervous - but was on a team with a VERY experienced crossfitter. I had a great time and have wanted to do every competition advertised since then. 

This picture makes me laugh. I look like I'm dying - maybe i was :)

I'm competitive. With myself. With others. I LOVE to compete. Doing crossfit competitions for me meant I needed to do extra work to place and perform how I wanted to. Insert my coach - Bijan (blkstrengthandconditioning@gmail.com). If you want to do competitions, if you want to kill those weaknesses I highly recommend contacting him. He is awesome. 

Superfit Delaware. 3rd place after the first workout. Mary, Me, Bijan, Phil

Doing competitions are fun for me, but I also have big goals for each one. I now have an unlimited Crossfit membership at CFA and I am in week 34 of extra programming with Bijan. I would probably make progress without working with a coach, but not as fast and not as focused on my weaknesses (and remember I'm an intense competitive nut), and certainly not to the level where I want to be. My typical week looks like this: 4 WODs at Crossfit Annandale, 3 WODs in my home gym from Bijan, a set of sprints, and 3-ish skills to work on (chin ups, farmer's carry, handstands, etc) - also from Bijan. I email him each week and give him the results of my work, we text, email, call, and do some workouts together. It's the push and guidance I need to reach my goals. 

Since working with Bijan I have made gainz (that's right.....it's serious with a Z) in all areas. Strength, mobility, form, nutrition - all have improved. Confidence is the biggest area for me. I go through ups and downs with it, but Bijan helps put it all in perspective (mandatory rest and "remember it's just a workout"). I can get very intense about sports and he pushes me at the right times and reins me in at the right times. I also share all my goals with him. All of them. Even the silly/stupid/embarrassing ones. He tells me which ones are do-able, works them into programming and also tells me which ones are not appropriate.

I participated in The CrossFit Open in 2013 (ranked 2020) and 2014 (ranked 1321). My goal for the 2014 Open was to place somewhere in the 1,000's. I was VERY happy with 1321! I have currently competed in 3 scaled competitions (Superfit DC 8th place, Superfit Delaware 15th place, capital throwdown 10th place) and 2 RX competitions (Cold War 3, Rehoboth beach battle). My goal is to get top five at Superfit DC in October with my awesome partner Holly!!!

Jake, Bijan, Me, Holly - my partner in crime

Crossfit can be anything you want. A place to sweat. A community of people that want to work out. A place to get stronger, faster, and more awesome. I have met so many great people, have changed my body image and improved on my nutrition. Whatever Crossfit is to you, as long as you are working towards improving that, I think you are doing great! If you are looking for a little more shoot Bijan an email at blkstrengthandconditioning@gmail.com and I'm sure he can help you reach your goals!

34 bottles of beer on the wall, 34 bottles of beer......

My birthday week is officially over. Back to reality......... It was a great week. Now I'm 34 (I know! I can't believe it either).

I had a great week of working out, hanging with friends, going on little dates, and SHOPPING!!!! My friend Carly at Thirtysomethingfashion helped me get ready for my Winery Party. She is great, if you haven't been to her site, you should. If you haven't tried her box service, you should. If you haven't seen her Pinterest page, you should. If you don't follow her in Instagram, you should (@carlywalko). I cannot say enough great things about her!

I contacted Carly to get some ideas for what to wear to the Winery. She has some great ideas and I ended up with this number:

Lucky Brand

I went shopping and hit some major sales. I love sales. LOVE them. It was also the tax free weekend - double sale! I hit up South Moon Under, Ann Taylor, and a consignment shop.

For my birthday we had friends join us at a Winery. It was perfect weather and all my favorites were there. I love a good birthday week!

Yummy winery snacks

Cheers! To getting older but staying cool

Mindset and do-overs

Truer words have NEVER been spoken. I experience this from time to time with sports/exercise/competition, but don't always have the time and ability for a do-over. What would a do-over help with? Showing me with no question that if I go into a workout with a negative mindset that I can't do it. If I go in prepared I have a much better chance. 

Prepared. What does that mean? For me it means 1. a GOOD warm up, 2. positive thinking, 3. focused but not too serious, 4. proper fuel and hydration. 

This slapped me in the face last week during this workout: 5-4-3-2-1 of Power Cleans (125#) and Rope Climbs (15 feet). I started with a "let's just do this and check it off the list" attitude. Not good. I did not warm up enough. I stretched, I did a few cleans. Everything felt heavy and I was not focusing on form. I kept thinking "it's only 5 max". Well, not if you don't warm up. I had fueled properly, but one check out of 4? Not gonna happen. I was not focused and was taking it all too seriously.  I also went into the workout thinking knowing "I can't climb ropes". Yes, I have done a few pulls. But I was SURE that I would do 5 power cleans and be done. Why? Negative mindset. 

The workout was horrible. I did two power cleans. They looked bad. They felt worse. I tried for #3. Nope. Tried again. Nope. My husband made me stop. He told me I went into it with a bad attitude. I didn't warm up enough. Which he informed me means I'm done. I will do this another day when I'm mentally prepared. I hate that. I cried. I didn't just want to check the workout off my list, but that's exactly how I went into it. I told my Coach and he said to move on with the day. Try again another time. He knows I can do this. End of story.

I got lucky. I got a do-over. I waited a few days and tried again. I started with a smile. Amazing what that can do. I also had a HUGE desire to accomplish this. I warmed up (not on my own). My husband ran me through some drills and made sure I was warm. Rope climbs? I was told to scale them. Don't even worry about them. I did 2:1 pulls. There. Now I'm ready. 

I completed the workout! I did all the power cleans no problem. I did the rope climb pulls, no problem. I finished with a cheer and a smile. It felt good. I instantly texted my coach and let him know. He KNEW I could do it. My husband KNEW I could do it. Why didn't I?

 I'm still learning all this mental toughness, positive mindset stuff. I'm getting better. I'm learning the things that MUST happen to aid in my toughness. Warm up, fuel, positive thinking, and focus. I've been reading some articles on it, like this one. Being aware of my weaknesses both physically and mentally is step one.

Hope everyone is smiling, getting their workouts done, and staying focused!

Sum Sum Summatime ramblings........

I know, I know. You have missed me. I've missed you too! Summertime always sounds relaxing (that's right, I have the summer OFF), but I'm here to tell you that I am SUPER busy. Busy? Busy with what? Let me fill you in.....

Fourth of July was in Richmond. Super awesome.

Then we went to NYC with the kiddos - so much fun. We walked and walked and walked and I carried one 48 pound kiddo on my shoulders for most of it. Active rest day, right?

Double Rainbow on our way home from NYC

Dylan's Candy Bar NYC

Dinner with Marilyn in NYC

Then there is the sweaty part of summer. Working out. Sam put together an amazing home gym for the times we can't get into Crossfit Annandale and so I can get my extra programming done (thanks to BLK Strength and Conditioning). No excuses to not workout. It's right there. Calling you. Making you get off the couch.

Hubs working out in our new home gym

Me working out in the home gym

Boys are at Scout Camp this week. Getting bulls eyes, shooting clay pigeons, and taking nature by storm.

I've been using this "down time" to work on mental toughness, letting things go (stopping a workout and doing it a different day/time is NOT quitting....right?), and not taking things too seriously. Easy, right? Nope. I don't like to let people down, I don't like to let myself down - but sometimes things are out of your control. There are days when 45# feels like 10#......and then there are days when your shorts are too tight, 10# feels like 100#, it's too hot, legs feel like lead.......... Those are the days that I need to read this gem:

I love to cheer-lead others. I LOVE it. Cheering and pumping up a friend to complete a workout, push harder, run faster, lift heavier.....I live for it. Weird how I have a hard time doing it for myself. Something I'm working on, but it's baby steps for sure.

I have big dreams. HUGE. I love what I do. Being a mom/wife, speech therapist, and crossfitter. I think I balance it all well most of the time. Every once in a while a slip up and need to readjust. That's life. Readjust. Shake it off. Keep moving forward. Nothing happens over night. No one is perfect. 

love this one

If you run into me this summer there is a HUGE chance I will be in IABM apparel. I got a big ol box of shirts from them today (thanks guys!!!!) and will be sporting their super soft shirts for DAYZ. Their shirts are also a great length - no belly bearing thrusters for this girl!

So excited to add these to my collection!

I have also been working on a #jackedandtanplan. I've pretty much nailed the tan. Next week at the beach will clench that. The jacked? I'm working on it. This week has been fairly clean eating, next week is the beach (rules are OFF), then when we get back Sam and I are hitting the #jacked hard! 

Hope everyone is having a great summer!!!!!