Support - Knowing what you need and what you give

Synonyms: Encourage, boost, assist, promote

* To bear the weight of; keep from falling, sinking, or slipping

*  To keep from weakening or failing; give confidence or comfort to:

* To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer).

* To offer help or advice

 The biggest job of a friend is to support. What does that really mean? It depends on the friend, it depends on the day, it depends on the situation.......it can be really tough to figure out sometimes. 

Things have been pretty heavy over here lately, so I thought I'd write a meaningful post with some humor. Hopefully it reads to you as awesomely as it sounds in my brain. I have a lot of supporters in my life. I could not do it without them.....well I could, but it would not be nearly as comfortable. Comfort is a word that I need for support, if I am not comfortable with you I'm not going to accept or ask for much support. That's just how I roll. The comfort I need is much like a good sports bra.

* Feels like a warm hug. 

*Hard to get out of.  In a sticky situation that support is around  no matter what.

*Keeps me contained when shit gets real.

* Hides nothing - they are so honest. 

*Comes in a variety of styles.  

*The good ones can be hard to find and are irreplaceable

These will do the trick - which one are you?

I need strong people. I need listeners. I need people that will calm me down and help me see another perspective. I need people that can make me laugh at myself and situations. You know what else I need? I really need people that know sometimes I just need to spin.....sometimes I am just venting. I don't need you to solve my problems, I just need you to acknowledge that they suck and it will get better. 

I absolutely love the cute strappy sportsbras. They are like the friend that is fun to go out with, is hilarious on facebook, and serves their purpose as a fun friend. Sorry strappy bra, I'm not running to you when I need support.

Who is this supporting? No one, unless those straps are made out of steal cable

  

I have learned that to get good support you also have to give good support. My husband has spent years teaching me how to hug. Yes. Teaching. I didn't grow up with much in the way of hugging, just didn't really happen. Now I am complimented on my hugs and THAT feels good. Who doesn't love a good hug? Even my 8 year old knows that a one-armed hug is bad. Careful, he'll call you on it too. I have also learned to be a listener. It can be hard, but it's such a great skill to have. So many times people are just looking to say things out loud. They may not need a solution, they just need to hear it. So listen. Smile. Nod. Listen. 

Think about it. Figure out what you need. Be present and find your support strength. Are you a great listener? A great hugger? What do you need back? Do you have people that can give you that? 

Go out there and tackle this Monday!!!!! 

My Tribe

My last post was August 14th, the day before everything changed.

*I will not get into any specifics, that's not what this about*

August 14th was a Friday. I took the day off from the gym, I took the boys to the pool, we went out to celebrate my brother in laws birthday, it was a nice easy day. The next day, the 15th, we were going out with our besties to plan the meals for our upcoming beach trip. We did this every year and it helped us get hyped for the beach week. We LOVE this trip.

Sam got the first phone call while we were at the pool. We knew something was wrong with our friend and his wife was not answering her phone. We got dried off, went home to change, and planned on heading out to their house to check on everyone. Then the phone rang again. He didn't make it.

Devastation.

Fear.

Loss.

Sadness.

My in laws took the boys and we drove out to the hospital. We were in shock. Not much was said on that drive. We both needed 100% focus to get us there. We needed to be there for our friend. We made a few more phone calls on the drive, cried, and questioned everything.

Over the next few hours we rallied. None of us talked about it, we just knew what needed to be done. We knew how we all thought, felt, and that we all needed each other. Without much talk we moved in together for the week and lived, cried, laughed, remembered.

My Tribe. My family. My best friends.......some of us go back 23 years. We love each other like siblings and at this devastating time we came together like a well-oiled machine. We did it for our friend that lost her husband. We did it for each other. We did it for our children. We did it because that is what you do when everything changes. When one of your tribe is lost.


We continue to spend time together telling stories, remembering, laughing, crying, and being there for each other. It's hard. It will be hard for a long time. It's hard just to write this. So why am I? To remind myself that what I have is special. The people in my life are special. I keep them very close and our friend would be proud of how we came together. I hope that you have people like that. Keep them close. Tell them you love them.

My Mini Tribe

I QUIT!

Dramatic? You bet. Did I really quit? Nope. That's exactly how it felt though......ugh. I don't like change. I don't like not doing something I said I would. I just want to follow the plan. Sometimes, things interrupt that plan.

Like injuries.

Saturday I was signed up to compete in my FIRST individual competition. Superfit Rubicon. It was going to be magical. My pull-ups were looking good (stringing 12 together!). My lifts were improving in technique and weight. I wanted it. I was happy. I was determined. I was going to prove how hard I've been working. TO THE WORLD (or anyone awake at 7am in Mclean).

Cue the shoulder. Doc says it's bicep tendinitis. So I've been doing rehab. Nothing over head. Nothing that hurts. Which all hurts my soul.....

Injuries. Not impressed.

Enter the Superfit workouts. I was glued to my computer Thursday. Waiting. Maybe magic will happen and the workouts will only be double unders, box jumps, deadlifts.....no shoulder needed. No such luck. Each one did play to my strength. I loved them all. This was going to be uh-mazing.........Oh - but my shoulder still hurts. Talked with my husband and Coach Bijan - both said "Nope". Not worth becoming seriously injured. Not worth throwing The Open. Not worth surgery. No sir. 

I just want to lift!!!!!!

Emotional. Yep. Just a bit. I slowly let my support crew know I was not going to be competing. It was hard, but it helped hear their supporting words. My partner in crime, Holly P,  sent me this gem:

#truth

My people. My support. Love them

I tried to stay away from #superfitrubicon, but I couldn't. I watched the videos. I scrolled through the pics. I didn't cry. I didn't throw anything (can't. Hurt my shoulder. duh). I put my big girl panties on and did squats, lunges, hollow rocks......stuff I CAN do. That's where my focus needs to be. What CAN I do? Turns out, a lot. So for the near future all my programming will be focused on everything that is not my shoulder. It sucks. It's frustrating. I will come back stronger, tougher, smarter. Believe that.

Believe it

I tend to be dramatic (remember when I quit?..Up top).......this is a time to put things in perspective. My husband helps me do that. My coach helps me do that. My goals are the same, my approach will change. I am on the same journey - just a few more turns. 

That time Miranda broke her neck....

and then

Regionals 2014...then went on to the games!

Instead of competing this weekend I played with my kids (add in 1 cousin), made a gingerbread house, and got our Christmas Tree. 

cousins

so much fun!

Tree Time!

My journey is still happening. Life is good. Next weekend is NYC and Afrobrutality. Hell Yeah! The reason for my visit? That is a different post all together :)

sneaky sneaky

Whenever I need a good laugh, a smile, anything to make me feel better I just look at Dawson and Kim. My favorite ugly criers. Your. Welcome.

 

Thankful Thankful

I was approached by a woman named Heather and was asked to talk about what I'm thankful for and also spread the word about her story and recovery from Mesothelioma. You can read about Heather's story here and watch her video. After having her first child she did not feel well - after 3 months she was diagnosed with Mesothelioma. Her story is amazing and she is working to increase awareness about this disease.

So what am I thankful for? This is a high pressure question. You don't want to sound snotty by saying "I'm so thankful for my black amex card" (I wish!) - but this is my list and my world so here it goes!

1. Super thankful for my wonderful family. Not just Sam and the boys, but my in-laws (they live .3 miles away - I swear, it's great), my mom, my brother and sister (and new baby!)...EVERYONE

2. Super thankful for friends - we are lucky enough to have friends that are more like family than I would have ever guessed they could be. My kids have soooo many people that love them and that they can look up to. Pretty heart warming

3. Thankful (I promise not to overuse "super") for my job. I have to wake up early, but I'm home before the boys get out of school and we get to spend some good time together. That also means Sam gets them ready in the morning and packs lunches. That I am thankful for too. Oh, and summers off. Boom.

4. I am thankful for snow days. Working in a school that means I just get to stay home with the kids. No daycare nightmare, taking off work, etc.

5. I'm thankful for Crossfit. I know, I know......I have a problem. Crossfit, and the people and coaches I have met/worked out with/drank with/danced with/slapped booties with (that's right) are awesome. I found Crossfit at a time that I thought "nothing will work". I truly thought I was destined to be sick (suffering from Lyme's disease and migraines at the time), over weight, weak, an emotional eater, and cranky. Through lifting heavy shit, pushing myself, and finding a workout I love and will do consistently I have found health, sanity, muscles (there are a few showing up), humor, and confidence.

Charity WOD during mustache Movember

6. I'm thankful that all my holiday shopping was done on Amazon. No stores. No lines. I do have to wrap all that crap - do kids notice if every box says "Amazon.com"? :)

Yep. Thankful for Reebok sales and new shirts!

I hope that this holiday season you have many many things to be thankful for. Sometimes they can be hard to see or remember - but they are there. Give hugs. Say "I love you".

Happy Holidays!