I QUIT!

Dramatic? You bet. Did I really quit? Nope. That's exactly how it felt though......ugh. I don't like change. I don't like not doing something I said I would. I just want to follow the plan. Sometimes, things interrupt that plan.

Like injuries.

Saturday I was signed up to compete in my FIRST individual competition. Superfit Rubicon. It was going to be magical. My pull-ups were looking good (stringing 12 together!). My lifts were improving in technique and weight. I wanted it. I was happy. I was determined. I was going to prove how hard I've been working. TO THE WORLD (or anyone awake at 7am in Mclean).

Cue the shoulder. Doc says it's bicep tendinitis. So I've been doing rehab. Nothing over head. Nothing that hurts. Which all hurts my soul.....

Injuries. Not impressed.

Enter the Superfit workouts. I was glued to my computer Thursday. Waiting. Maybe magic will happen and the workouts will only be double unders, box jumps, deadlifts.....no shoulder needed. No such luck. Each one did play to my strength. I loved them all. This was going to be uh-mazing.........Oh - but my shoulder still hurts. Talked with my husband and Coach Bijan - both said "Nope". Not worth becoming seriously injured. Not worth throwing The Open. Not worth surgery. No sir. 

I just want to lift!!!!!!

Emotional. Yep. Just a bit. I slowly let my support crew know I was not going to be competing. It was hard, but it helped hear their supporting words. My partner in crime, Holly P,  sent me this gem:

#truth

My people. My support. Love them

I tried to stay away from #superfitrubicon, but I couldn't. I watched the videos. I scrolled through the pics. I didn't cry. I didn't throw anything (can't. Hurt my shoulder. duh). I put my big girl panties on and did squats, lunges, hollow rocks......stuff I CAN do. That's where my focus needs to be. What CAN I do? Turns out, a lot. So for the near future all my programming will be focused on everything that is not my shoulder. It sucks. It's frustrating. I will come back stronger, tougher, smarter. Believe that.

Believe it

I tend to be dramatic (remember when I quit?..Up top).......this is a time to put things in perspective. My husband helps me do that. My coach helps me do that. My goals are the same, my approach will change. I am on the same journey - just a few more turns. 

That time Miranda broke her neck....

and then

Regionals 2014...then went on to the games!

Instead of competing this weekend I played with my kids (add in 1 cousin), made a gingerbread house, and got our Christmas Tree. 

cousins

so much fun!

Tree Time!

My journey is still happening. Life is good. Next weekend is NYC and Afrobrutality. Hell Yeah! The reason for my visit? That is a different post all together :)

sneaky sneaky

Whenever I need a good laugh, a smile, anything to make me feel better I just look at Dawson and Kim. My favorite ugly criers. Your. Welcome.

 

Cloudy, 73*, and summer coming to an end.....

This is my last week of summer. Super bummed about it - tan is going to fade, less time to play, sun, swim, and be breezy. I do look forward to hanging with my friends at work again though - always a good time. I have this week off of my extra programming from Coach Bijan (info@knighteliteperformance) - just doing mobility and WODs at CFA.

Today is cloudy. Not summer-hot. I did not sleep well last night. Perfect day for some mental toughness/confidence building activities. In college we did an exercise where you write your name on the center of a piece of paper, then you pass it around the circle. Each person writes a word or phrase about you (positive - duh). By the time it gets back to you there are 20+ awesome statements about you. Wonderful, glorious you. Don't worry - still have one of mine to share with you....your welcome.

circa 2004

My college lacrosse coach was the bomb.com. No way I'd be the athlete and person I am today without her. She was tough, caring, and the mom we all needed being away at school. Love that woman!

So Sam and I did this activity this morning. For me it's hard to write positive things about myself. I feel silly, or conceded......I am much better at building up others. That's my passion - making others feel great. BUT - I need to be able to do that for myself too. Right? So here's Sam's positives:

Positives that I wrote about Sam

What Sam wrote about himself - Beard???

Sam is very confident and mentally tough. He had no problem writing about his positives - which is what makes him such a great friend, coach, and husband. Here are mine:

What Sam wrote about me

What I wrote about myself

I cannot lie. I cried when I read what Sam wrote about me. Real tears. I am confident in some ways, but don't always see in me what my friends and husband do. Good thing I'm working on it, huh?!? When writing about myself I thought I would die. I hated writing "smart, funny, friendly" - just felt silly. I did feel better seeing that Sam wrote the same things about me. Baby steps.

Now, the gloomy, cloudy, end of summer day is going to go much better! How can you not smile and have a spring in your step when you have just read a list of positive things about yourself?

Think positive. Break a sweat. Smile big. Love the day!