We have all survived or are surviving something. Whether it's small or HUGE - we've all been there. Sometimes it's hard to see to the other side and sometimes it's so big we aren't sure there is a other side.
Yesterday I experienced a horrible health scare. I was in the grocery store with my kids and got hit hard by something. Thinking it was a "I need a snack" moment I got a latte. I love Starbucks in the grocery store. I didn't even drink half. I was so dizzy and nauseous I knew I just needed to get home. I was well enough - for the moment - to get myself and the kids home safely.
I called my husband and told him what was happening and that I was not feeling good. I got home. Laid on the couch and 45 minutes later awoke to my mother in law coming in. Sam had been calling me, friends, and my mother in law to find me. She came over and held my hand and stroked my hair. I started crying. I was dizzy (couldn't even open my eyes), nauseous (huge fear of throwing up), had ringing in my ears, and my whole body was tingly. Sam got home, saw me, and called 911. Then I got scared. He is my cool cucumber. For him to think something is wrong, well - that means it is.
The ambulance showed up and asked me a TON of questions. At this point my face felt funny. I felt like I was talking slow and I couldn't think clearly. Both EMTs said "stroke?" Enough said. I panicked. I tried to "be cool" but I was melting. I didn't say "bye" to my kids! I'm too young! I have a race Monday and Saturday! Ugh. Terrible. I passed all the stroke tests and they checked my blood pressure, pulse, and blood sugar. All was great, but the blood sugar was low (73). They put me on the gurney and wheeled me out to the ambulance.
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waiting for lab results |
After a few hours in the ER - at least I had my own room - I was diagnosed with BPV. Benign Positional Vertigo. It may never happen again, it may happen in a week, it may happen in a year. I got some medication for now and future occurrences and was good to go. All my blood work came back great. The Dr. actually told me a few times how low my blood pressure and resting heart rate (58-65 in the room) were and attributed it to triathlon training! She even said I inspired her to try one (she panics in the water).
One thing that really helped was being in training. I knew exactly what I had eaten that day, how much I worked out, what my max heart rate was during that, and that I've been doing this - it's not new. I heard each professional say "she's training for a triathlon". It sounded so silly at first. The more I heard it the more I felt "bad ass".
Today I'm good. I'm exhausted and I'm feeling hung over from all the crap from yesterday. Survived! That made me think about all that I have survived in my life and just felt like writing it down.Some are good, some were terrifying.
1. being adopted
2. 2 car accidents at 16 (oops)
3. graduating high school, college, and graduate school (thanks mom!)
4. finding Sam, falling in the love, and marrying him!
5. meeting my biological mom the day before my wedding
6. my parents divorce
7. having two beautiful boys (c-section scar to prove it)
8. working full time
9. completing my first 5k (got me hooked)
10. completing my first 1/2 marathon (getting choked up here....)
11. completing my first marathon (tears)
12. meeting my biological dad on st. patty's day 2010 - we both had green beer
13. supporting my best friends as they both lost someone they love (sole sisters)
14. completing my first triathlon (thanks sam!)
15. forgiving my adopted dad and visiting him in the hospital to "say goodbye"
I feel so strong reading that list. I'm sure I have forgotten good and bad survivals too.
What have you survived?