Monday, January 13, 2014

Me against Myself

One of the things I love so much about Crossfit and Weight Lifting is being able to compare. I compare numbers, times, reps, weights, etc. It's hard not to compare yourself to other people, I mean....they are there. They did the workout too. Did they do more weight? Was their time faster? To a point I compare and care, but I don't loose too much sleep over it.

I am a "write it down and look at it and refer back to it" kinda gal. I love to make a list. Favorite part? Crossing off what I did. Sometimes I forget something, write it down, and instantly cross it off. Feels good. I write down every WOD I do, all the weights I lift, times, reps, and the auxiliary work I do to become the most Awesome Ann I can be. Super Cheese.

I do also love to organize. So, all workouts are written down and kept in an awesome little spiral notebook. Arranged by date, cues from coaches are written down, even the occasional penis drawing (thanks Sam). I will say, the drawings make me laugh. I'm super immature - but sometimes at the gym you  just need to laugh.

I look back, compare, remind myself of how far I've come. It's me against me. No one is going to make me faster or stronger except me. I need to make the choice. I need to put the work in. I need to focus. Me. That is scary. I set goals for myself a lot. I rarely set a goal that I don't run by someone first. Sometimes I'm told that it's too easy, sometimes too hard. I adjust and go for it.

What happens if I don't meet a goal? Does the world end? Nope. BUT I do have a hard time accepting not meeting goals. I do not always disclose goals to many people because I honestly get embarrassed if I don't meet that goal and people *gasp!* know. The worst. I feel very vulnerable when that happens. So, if I have shared goals with you - feel lucky. You are one of the chosen that I truly trust.

This weekend I had such a moment. I wanted to redo 13.2 from last years Open.
5 shoulder to overhead (75#)
10 deadlifts (75#)
15 box jumps (20 inches)
10 minutes

Last year I got 203 reps. I was happy with that. Last year. Now I want MORE. Our gym had this programed, but I missed it due to life events. I went in on Saturday and worked on it again. I did the workout alone, but while people were doing the Saturday workout. Good music. Good Company. Did I improve? Yep. I improved. Goal met. Did I meet the goal I had for reps? Nope. Does it matter. Nope. Did I cry? just a little? like maybe a tear drop or two? Yep. I am proud of improving. I went up to 222 reps. I can do that math, definitely an improvement. I was happy. But then there is always this twinge of embarrassment that I didn't hit the # goal. I mean - who cares? Only two people on the planet even knew what my # goal was. I had a tiny pity party and moved on.

Moved on to what you ask?

My first Mother Flippin Tire Flip!

Tire is estimated to be about 450#. I tried to flip it last spring and could not budge it. Not even a little. Decided to try it Saturday and see what would happen.....I flipped it. That's what happened. It was awesome! Good thing I got it too - just so happens that it's part of my extra work this week.

Here's to an awesome week of Paleo Challenge, hitting goals, and keep on keeping on. Oh - and Superfit on Saturday! Go Team 'Merica!