Saturday, August 21, 2010

I broke up with my scale

What a couple of days I've had! We had someone come over to the house yesterday at 7am to do a physical (urine and blood work) for life insurance. No big deal. Until he had me step on the scale. I practically begged to jump on it. I walked up really proud and stepped on the scale. See, I'm at an all time low - 147.8! That's the lowest weight I've been in years. My confidence has been at an all time high - I even walk a little taller.

Then he said "163 pounds". I instantly dry heaved. I said "what?" and he said it AGAIN.........Here's what happened. For some reason my scale is broken. It has been steadily telling me I weigh less and less and less - all while laughing at me. I even went to the Dr's office. Their scale screamed "163.8"

My confidence walls have never crumbled so fast. I somehow waited until that man left and I melted. I haven't cried that hard, for that long, in a LONG time (promise). My husband did not know what to do. He felt horrible. I thought I had broken through the 150 plateau, I thought I was in the 140s.....but I'm really 15 pounds heavier and at an all time high for this year!

My run yesterday was awful, I had a horrible headache from crying.

Plus side: I did not binge eat, I did not give up, I signed up for a free weight loss class at the gym, my husband bought me a Garmin Forerunner so I can "continue to tackle my goals", and my 3 year old said "I will never call you fat cause your my mommy". I love them!

My strategy? Get over feeling embarrassed, tricked, and disgusting. I am going to do weight watchers again. I am committing to health, weight loss, and building my confidence back up.